


Save Me From the Dark - Darling, I Already Did

by MacBeka



Series: Bard and Thrandy, sitting in a tree... [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AKA the perfect mix, Anal Sex, Bard always knows how to make it better, Body worship - kinda, Cuddling, Even though its late, Fluff and Smut, For LittleLynn's birthday, Gift Fic, M/M, Modern AU, PTSD Thranduil?, Poor Thrandy, Self Esteem Issues, She didn't warn me -_-, Suffering Thranduil, This got really depressing..., Thranduil suffers from nightmares, Thranduil's ada, Thranduil's ammë, but happy ending!, idk - Freeform, scarred thranduil, self harm references?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 02:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3593133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacBeka/pseuds/MacBeka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since... Since as long as Bard can remember, Thranduil has struggled at night. Whether with falling asleep or horrific, terrifying nightmares, Bard had become used to his irregular sleep patterns, had worked his own life around them. But tonight was the worst in the five years they'd been together, and Bard was on a late shift too...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me From the Dark - Darling, I Already Did

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleLynn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLynn/gifts).



> So, this was originally a happy-ish birthday gift fic for LittleLynn but it kinda got sad. MAYBE THIS IS MY REVENGE LYNN, JUST MAYBE. Ahem... 
> 
> Anyway, this fic's potential trigger warnings:  
> Non-explicit self harm references  
> Maybe, PTSD idk  
> Thranduil was in a fire, so whatever warnings go with that  
> Discussions of nightmares  
> Self esteem issues
> 
> If there's anything else that I need to tag, please do let me know

Bard was tired. Not only had Thranduil been up all night the night before, tinkering in the kitchen, doing whatever he did when he couldn't sleep, but he'd just finished a night shift. He'd always hated the night shifts, because if something happened while he wasn't around, he'd never forgive himself. But the apartment was quiet as he walked in, carefully shutting the door behind him. Hopefully that meant Thranduil was asleep? Or if he wasn't, he was okay. Even now, with their fifth year anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks, Bard wasn't a hundred percent sure what Thranduil's persistent nightmares were about, but he tried not to let it bother him too much. If Thranduil wanted to tell him then he would, and he wouldn't push him. 

He shuffled into the kitchen for a glass of water before heading to bed. He loved Thranduil, and made sure to say it often. He adored the blush that spread across his lover's slightly scarred cheeks when he said it around their friends, and the way he arched and gasped as Bard whispered it against every inch of scarred skin, the next seemingly always worse than the last. It was only recently really that he'd noticed the pitying looks everyone around them gave him when they thought he wasn't looking, as if loving Thranduil was a hardship. No, the complete opposite; the fact that Thranduil found comfort in the circle of Bard's arms - even after the most awful nightmare - gave him a sense of strength that he doubted those people would ever know in their entire lives. No. Coming home and seeing the smile on Thranduil's face, no matter how small or tear-stained, was like a slice of heaven. 

"Why do you stay with me?" Thranduil asked from the doorway, making Bard jump and knock his glass over. 

"Jesus, Thran," he breathed, pushing his hair back. "Couldn't you sleep?"

Thranduil was quiet for a while, watching Bard as he mopped up the water on the counter before it could drip onto the floor. 

"Why do you love me?"

Bard frowned and turned to look at Thranduil. He was standing with his arms crossed self-consciously, the inner skin pressed hard against his stomach, like if he couldn't see the old white lines there, he'd feel better. His shoulders were drawn in and his face turned away to look at the floor. This was the Thranduil that either needed lots of space and calming words or a tight hug and an insistent kiss. Bard couldn't tell which it was tonight, so he took a step closer to test the boundaries. Thranduil tensed further. Okay, so lots of space it was. 

"I love you because you're an amazing person," Bard said gently, stretching his arm out on the island between them, there in case Thranduil wanted to take his hand. "I love you because, despite everything you've been through, you still do all you can for others, for me. I've told you all this before."

"I've seen the way your friends look at us," he said quietly, his voice thick with rapidly forming tears. "Like they don't know why you stay with me when I'm like a child that you can't let out of your sight. Like they think you could do so much better."

"They probably do think that," Bard admitted, "but I don't. I think you're the most beautiful, amazing, perfect, caring person in the whole world. And if not the whole world, then my world. You're my world, Thran, and we'll get you through this. Just one day at a time, yeah?" Thranduil swallowed hard and tightened his lips, either so he wouldn't say anything or wouldn't start sobbing. "Just a little bit at a time. We'll get through tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after, and I'll still be here for you."

Thranduil nodded slightly, hardly even moving his head, but it was enough for Bard. He took it as a sign that he could come round to be closer, but he still moved slowly. Thranduil was vulnerable at the best of times, but like this he was so easily shattered that a false move or being too close could make him break. When he didn't respond, Bard moved closer until he was a foot away. He reached for Thranduil's hands slowly, looking up at him for permission. It came in the form of him loosening his arms. When Bard took those scarred hands into his, he gave a small smile. This was a step in the right direction. 

"What brought this on?" he asked softly, kissing the backs of his hands before holding them against his chest. 

Thranduil shrugged and tilted his head away again, a sure sign that he'd been thinking too much and didn't want to tell Bard. That was okay, Bard would always keep learning his little tells and signs so that Thranduil never really had to tell him anything. 

"Come on, let's see what's on TV, shall we?" 

Thranduil nodded again, letting Bard lead him into their small living room. Bard stopped in front of the loveseat and sat on the floor next to it, not wanting to crowd Thranduil so much that he couldn't breathe (that had happened before and it wasn't an experience that either of them would ever want to go through again). 

"No," Thranduil said, pulling on Bard's hand. Bard looked up at him in surprise; he never reached out like this, was never the one to say he wanted to be held, it was always Bard's careful insistence and persuasion. "With me. Please."

Bard nodded and moved to sit on the sofa, Thranduil sitting beside him with his legs pulled up. He wrapped his arm around him and pulled him as close as he could, setting his other hand on his thigh for reassurance. 

"What do you want to watch?" Bard asked, reaching for the remote. 

"Nothing. Just want to sit."

"Alright then. Have you tried to sleep tonight?"

"Managed a couple of hours after you left."

The short, clipped sentences and the tightening of Thranduil's fist in his shirt told him that it had been a bad nightmare. A really bad one. There were nightmares that would end up with screams and deep-chested sobbing, but the  _really_  bad ones were the ones where Thranduil would slip out of bed silently and sit, staring into the distance. Sometimes he wouldn't talk for days. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bard asked, not really expecting an answer, so he was shocked when Thranduil started to talk. 

"It was dark... I could hear the fire spreading through the house. Ada was trying to break the door down. He grabbed me and carried me downstairs for he went for ammë, but he couldn't get her. You were there..." A breathy hiccup. "A-And you left and l-locked the door. I could't get out." A poorly disguised sob, a tightening around his shirt. "Ada said that it was because you were too good for me, that because of my scars you wouldn't want me."

"Oh, my sweet," Bard whispered, wrapping his arms further around Thranduil, pressing a kiss to his hair. "That wasn't your real ada. Ada wouldn't ever say that to you. Ammë wouldn't let him."

Thranduil gave a weak laugh and nodded. "She'd have given him a smack."

"A properly good smack. I know they can't replace your ada and ammë but my parents love you as their own. They love you because you make me happy, and I would never shut any door on you. You already own the key to my heart, after all. You know that, don't you."

It was a question, more of a reminder. Thranduil nodded reluctantly, some of the tension leaving his body.

"And no matter what anyone says, I love your scars. They're a part of you, so of course I love them. We all have our baggage, Thran, so never think that you're not good enough for anyone. If anyone ever says that, you direct them straight to me, okay? They'll get a smack, just like from your ammë."

Bard looked down slightly and saw that Thranduil had a small smile on his lips. 

"I wish you could have met them," he whispered, nuzzling his head closer. "Ammë would have loved you, and Ada would have teased you about your choice of beer."

Bard laughed softly. "Well, it's a good job that I've got you for both of those, isn't it?"

Thranduil looked up at him with wet cheeks and teary eyes, but a small smile nonetheless. He leaned down and kissed him gently, not wanting to ruin any progress he'd made tonight. Thranduil pressed back hard, bringing his hand up to grasp Bard's hair, pulling a soft gasp out of him. Thranduil took the opportunity to push his tongue into his mouth, pulling him closer, Bard grabbed at his side, clutching onto the thin pyjamas that he wore. He felt Thranduil's hands at the top button of his shirt, fumbling and whining in frustration. There were times when his scars would reduce the sensations against his skin - lasting damage to some nerves, the doctors said - and he had trouble with fiddly things like buttons, so Bard just pushed him onto his back and undid them for him before shrugging the shirt off and throwing it onto the floor. 

Thranduil's smile widened as he looked up at him, reaching up to stroke over his chest. He was always mesmerised by the smooth skin all over Bard, even the parts calloused from a lifetime of work; it was so different from his own. His own was covered in scars, some that were even still painful, some where he could feel no sensation whatsoever, and some that were sensitive in all the best ways. Bard could see all of these thoughts flitting over Thranduil's face as he looked down at him, some hair falling out of the messy bun he'd worn it in for work. Awkwardly with how he was boxed into the sofa, Thranduil pulled his T-shirt off, wincing slightly as some of his scars pulled at the movement. 

Bard looked down at him, letting his eyes rake over him. For him, there was nothing more beautiful than a naked Thranduil, but shirtless would do too if that was all he was allowed. He leaned down and kissed softly at the edge of one of the worst scars, the mottled darkened skin morphing into the soft paleness of the rest of him. Thranduil gasped, arching a little to try and get closer. Bard smiled and kept kissing along the edge, where he knew it wouldn't be painful. 

"Gorgeous," he whispered as he sat back to look down at him. The sight of Thranduil with a spreading flush down his neck, his breathing picking up, his lips parted slightly, was the most wonderful thing in Bard's whole existence. "I love you."

"I love you too," Thranduil murmured, reaching up to pull him down into another kiss. "Please, Bard."

"What do you need?"

"I need you. I want you, please." Bard moaned slightly as Thranduil arched to press his growing hardness against him. "Please."

"Y-Yeah, okay, just a second."

"Hurry."

Bard clambered up as quickly as he could while also being careful of the amazing creature underneath him. He jogged to the bedroom and grabbed the lube from the bedside drawer before hurrying back. While he was gone, Thranduil had shoved down his shorts and kicked them off, leaving him naked on the couch. Bard paused in the doorway, just taking a moment to look over him and admire _._

_"Bard,"_  Thranduil whined, his voice so needy that Bard couldn't help but be spurred into motion. 

"I'm here, love, right here," he reassured him as he pulled off his trousers.

Bard took his place again on the sofa, kneeling between those pale thighs, mostly unmarked. God, how he wanted to fix that with his mouth, and tongue, and especially his teeth. 

"Can I mark you?" he asked, like he always did, as he stroked up and down his legs. Thranduil just responded with a quick nod, writhing in his place, panting gently. 

Bard shuffled back slightly, kissing along the edges of Thranduil's scars until he reached the patch of light hair at the base of his cock. Jesus, Bard loved this man so much, like this or otherwise. He bypassed Thranduil's cock to kiss along the inside of his thighs, biting and sucking small bruises into his skin. He looked up at Thranduil as he trailed the tip of his tongue along the jagged edge of a scar at his hip. He groaned and had to squeeze the base of his own prick to stop from coming right then and there; Thranduil was panting with his head thrown back, his long fingers tugging and playing with his nipples. 

"Shit, Thran..." he said in an awfully emasculating whimper. 

In slight revenge, Bard sucked one of his perfectly round balls into his mouth, lathing at it with his tongue, thoroughly enjoying Thranduil's loud moan and the hand that was pushed into his hair to grip tightly. 

"Bard, please, I need your fingers,  _please_ ," he gasped out in a sob so very different from his others. 

And how could Bard ever deny the man he loved?

He pulled off his balls with a obscenely wet pop that he would never tire of hearing and sat back to open the cap of the lube and smear some all over his fingers before he came back to Thranduil, laying himself over him and kissing him - softly but firmly - as he began to play with his hole, always just on the border of pushing a finger in, but never quite. Thranduil started to roll his hips in an attempt to tease Bard into giving him what he wanted. It worked. 

With a sort of growl, Bard plunged one finger all the way inside Thranduil, making him gasp and moan slightly, his eyelids fluttering as he let his head fall back. Bard took the opportunity to bite marks there too. 

"More," Thranduil demanded, in a tone that brooked no argument or disobedience. 

Bard circled his finger a few times to make room for a second before pushing it in and scissoring them slowly before his lover could demand he do so. Bard grinned slightly against Thranduil's neck, nipping the skin before pulling away, his fingers moving without pause. 

"That good, Thran?" he asked, kissing at his collarbone. 

Thranduil hummed happily, beginning to roll his hips slowly again. Bard took it as a sign that he needed more, and there was now just enough space for a third finger, so he pushed that one in too. 

"Soon, Bard, please."

"Soon, love, I promise. I need to make sure you don't get hurt."

Thranduil nodded and waited as Bard stretched him just enough. Bard rubbed at his prostate briefly, but still enough to draw out a gasp and loud moan. He always loved how sensitive Thranduil was. After a bit longer, he decided that was enough and pulled his fingers out. 

"How do you want me?" he asked, slightly breathless.

Thranduil sat up quickly, swapping their positions, straddling him with his hands on his chest. 

"I want to ride you," Thranduil whispered, reaching underneath him to line up Bard's cock before slowly sinking down onto it. 

Bard moaned, throwing his head back at the feeling of Thranduil's sudden heat. He settled his hands on his hips and bent his knees so he could thrust slightly, knowing that Thranduil liked to take control in this position. They stayed still for a good few minutes, just enjoying the feeling and sharing shaky breaths. Bard would never tire of this, never get bored of watching Thranduil's face as he began to move himself. Bard knew that he just had to stay still for a while, let Thranduil decide how he wanted this before he could join in. It was hardly a difficulty; watching each gasp and moan contort his face into all manner of beautiful pleasured expressions. As Thranduil's nail began to dig into his chest, he knew that it was time. He steadied himself with his feet and began to push up as Thranduil came back down, making him cry out. Their rhythm got faster, harder, each slap of skin getting louder moans and cries, every time Bard nailed Thranduil's prostate, the nails against his chest would press harder as he shouted. 

Bard tightened his grip on Thranduil's hips in an attempt to make him slow down. He wanted to enjoy this as much as possible, for as long as possible, and if Thranduil carried on the way he was, it would all be over far too quickly. Thranduil leaned down, slowing his movements and letting Bard take over, kissing briefly at his lips again and again, both of them too breathless for anything deeper or more passionate. 

"I love you," Bard whispered against his lips, rocking his hips slowly but purposefully. 

"I love you too. So much... Never leave me, please," Thranduil begged. 

"Never, Thran, I promise. Never."

Bard could feel his spine tingling with his oncoming release so he took hold of Thranduil's cock and stroked him slowly, rubbing his palm over the head. They were both moaning and panting as they got closer and closer, every moment an eternity filled with love. When Thranduil came, he moaned quietly, thrusting awkwardly into Bard's hand. He rested his head against Bard's shoulder, panting, as Bard came too, the sensation of Thranduil clenching around him hotly was just too much and with one last thrust, he came inside Thranduil, gasping shakily, moaning as Thranduil stroked his hair and kissed his face. 

They were silent as they came down from their orgasm high, but when Bard opened his mouth to talk and looked down at Thranduil, he was fast asleep, his breathing even against the bare skin of his chest. There was no sign of the worry or panic that usually plagued his sleep, just a quiet and peaceful slumber. Bard grinned and pulled out carefully, carried Thranduil to their bed before he went to get a cloth to clean them both up. Once he was done, he slipped into bed beside him and wrapped his arms around him. 

"Good night, Thran. Sleep well," he whispered, pressing a brief kiss to the other's neck before he, too, fell asleep.


End file.
